Wall or tripod mounted remote shutter release camera
Wow, what a mouthful. The key here is the remote shutter release. That means you can release the shutter (aka take a picture) using a remote control. The wall or tripod mount is simply to put the camera out of harm’s way (and out of pikey’s grasp.) The main advantage of this set up is its anonymous voyeuristic aspects.
See, while Jenny being roused up on homemade cider, may be happy to ‘get her tits out for the lads’ she certainly wouldn’t while there is a camera pointed at her. However, little does she (or anyone else who ends up making a fool of themselves for that matter) realize, simply by reaching into your pocket and pressing a small remote, high definition images are being captured with your camera mounted on the wall.
So get a decent wide angle lens and DSLR and mount it high up on the wall of the main room in your house party. Make sure you charge the battery fully because you’ll have to leave it on standby for the remote shutter release to work. Trust me the shots you find the next day will be well worth the effort.
You can also mount a GoPro high up on the wall and set it up for time lapse pictures, so it will take a picture every 30 seconds or so which can then be strung together to make a movie of the night.
Rent a marquee
This is more a question of economics than having a great house party. Everyone knows that passing out in your own vomit is much more fun in a beautifully decorated family home than in a pile of composting leaves in the garden so house parties are generally preferred over garden parties.
However, if you’re expecting more than about 50 people a marquee could be well worth the money because you’ll save on cleaning and repairs for your house the next day. You’ll also reduce the chances of random people ending up in your bed and/or throwing your mattress out the window as well as valuables in general going missing. A decent sized marquee costs upwards of $300 per night. You do the math!
Mobile phone ban
There’s nothing worse than having the annoying fat girl not understand the rules of the drinking game because she was texting her grandma. A quick and simple method to get everyone ‘in the moment’ and not distracted or worried about tomorrow is to enforce a phone ban.
Facebook junkies in particular will object to this; doesn’t matter. Just like an old TV a quick slap on the top of the head and everything will become clear.
Buy a tube
Forget what you know about getting drunk quickly if you haven’t heard about this. Have you ever put the wrong fuel in your car? If you have then you might have had to suck out fuel from your tank. You will have realized that as soon as the flow starts squirting down the tube (if the exit of the tube is lower than the fuel tank) it doesn’t stop.
Well the same goes for a keg placed up somewhere high with a tube in it. Once the flow starts coming, by sucking initially, it won’t stop and you will effectively have a hosepipe of beer. Line up your guests and don’t pinch off the tube until that keg is empty.
Get a projector
Definitely beats a TV when it comes to house parties simply because it’s much harder to break a wall covered with white paint than a 52 inch flat screen, and much less expensive to fix. If your house party is the kind where you’ll want to be playing some sort of dance video, porno flick or equalizer video than a projector is a must.
Get A Keg
Much easier and more environmentally friendly than using cans or bottles and usually results in less alcohol being wasted from opened cans that weren’t drunk. The keg of lager goes well with the ‘make your own alcohol’ idea because you will probably be brewing the alcohol in a keg anyway. All you need is some disposable cups and you’re good to go.
Round-up your aerosols
It’s hard to have more fun than by throwing your empty aerosol cans on the bonfire. This includes deodorants, cleaning products, hair products or generally anything pressurized and/or flammable. Make sure they’re pretty much empty before putting them on your bonfire, a full can of deodorant will produce a flames ball with roughly a 4 meter diameter and could crack nearby windows.
Use disposable boilersuits
A week before your mashup bulk order some disposable boiler suits ($2 a pop) and make everyone wear one when they arrive. This is a good idea for a couple of reasons. Firstly it makes everyone equal in terms of the latest fashion (hipsters may object) so everyone is more likely to come out of there shell and get involved.
Secondly it eliminates the worry of ripping, staining and generally damaging expensive clothing. Guests will be much more likely to cypher that bright pink cranberry and homemade vodka mixture if they aren’t worried about getting their perfectly white $50 silk blouse stained. Smoky smelling clothing, glow stick liquid, food fights, cigarettes burns, paint fights etc become much less of a concern whilst using the boilersuit.
Thirdly a disposable boilersuit makes it much easier for rapid love making action which is always a sign of a banging house party
Use a GoPro
The GoPro is the perfect party filming device. It’s small, discrete, agile, virtually indestructible, waterproof, good in low light and wide angle so you’ll be able to get everything in shot. You can mount it to anything, moving or stationary, or set it up to take time lapse pictures.
Sober, tipsy, drunk, passed out, you get the picture. Upload to your computer, make a quick edit using the Final Cut software you bittorrented and use the resulting clip to advertise your next house party.
This may seem a bit pretentious depending on the location, theme and magnitude of your house party but can also come in handy when the village gypsys arrive after hearing about your house party on local radio.
Don’t bother hiring professional bouncers, simply hop down to the local gym and find some suitable gym monkeys who can be bribed by free alcohol to stand outside your house and look tough
Buy a smoke machine
A smoke machine can significantly increase the good vibes at your house party and aren’t as expensive as you think. A good fog machine will cost you about $60 (35 pounds). Yes they are a bit of a novelty and not particularly useful in anyway, but still, having fun toys to play with always helps bring a house party to life.
The week after fireworks day, independence day, whenever, is the perfect time to stock pile fireworks in anticipation for the next few house parties. Obviously we recommend using the allocated sober driver to be in charge of all firework ignitions and also don’t be stupid. Never set off fireworks inside or whilst inebriated. Buy a variety of different fireworks because the same kind of explosions get boring after a while.
Hire a midget
Controversial but nonetheless well worth the money. Hiring a dwarf butler will set you back at least $150 (100 pounds) an hour, ouch. Depending on your budget and how many people are willing to chip in this is definitely an option to kick start the party. You’ll want to make sure you hire your mini me entertainment at the right time because if you’ve only got him for an hour then timing is everything.
Advertise your party
Always a risky choice since you’ll never know who will turn up and it could be a load of pikeys from the campsite but at least you’ll know there will be plenty of people there. So it depends what you think is worse, an empty house party, or a banging house party but your hoover and stamp collection are missing in the morning. Common advertising mediums include facebook, twitter, local radio, flyers etc.
Sounds like a long shot but Red Bull has been known to sponsor the big house parties. You will probably need to know someone who works for Red Bull (not hard if you’re at Uni or college) or at least be prepared to invite them to your party. Sponsorship can mean as little as a few crates of free Red Bull to getting in a full blown sound system, fireworks, cars,dancers etc etc.
Order a dancer
A stripper is a prerequisite for bachelor/hen parties but not always necessary depending on what kind of vibe you want at your party. They can also be expensive. Would it be more cost effective to buy a fog machine, strobe light and boilersuits? It’s up to you but definitely something to keep in mind. Alternatively you could just erect a strip pole in one of your rooms and like bees to honey sure enough come 2 am you will have strippers gratis.
Inform the neighbours
Probably a good idea to do this more than a week away from the shin dig since it gives them a bit of time arrange to not be around (or throw their own.) If you tell them a couple of hours beforehand it won’t look very good and they are more likely to call the cops to shut the party down. Sending them a polite message or telling them in person makes it much more likely they won’t complain or won’t even be around to complain, or will join in.
Allocate a photographer
It’s always fun to look through pictures of a good house party the next day, especially because it’s often hard to remember what actually happened. The trick is to forget about shitty compact cameras and phone cameras and get a decent wide angle lens with a DSLR. You’re photos will be much crisper and cleaner than the typical smart phone pictures so you can see what really went on. Allocate one person with a decent camera and make sure they put a bit of effort into capturing the night.
Buy a strobe light
There isn’t a better way to turn a boring party into a raging bash than adding a strobe light. They’re super cheap and make you feel drunk after a while. It will be clear from the outside of the house that the party’s going off when you’ve got a strobe inside. Just be aware about the epileptic inducing tendencies of strobe lights.
Make your own alcohol
Making your own alcohol is a guaranteed ticket to a messy party. There will be no worries about running out of alcohol and you don’t have to add the stingy tag line to your party invitation ‘bring your own alcohol.’ Making your own alcohol is super cheap, think 50 cents for a pint for lager, 40 cents for a pint of ale and $1.70 for 1 litre of 40% alcohol.
Yes making your own vodka is ridiculously cheap and if you do it right you’ll cut down on the hangover because it’s much purer than the stuff you buy in the shops. You can’t legally sell homemade alcohol, but there ain’t no laws about using it to get your friends messed up. Get to work, you’ll need a couple of weeks before you can rock and roll.